A day in the life...

So, Saturday was a day that has already lived in infamy. I've been telling the story enough times that I decided it needed to be typed up. It all started when my mom came in to wake me up. (yes. i am back to living at home until I finish school. leave it be.) She comes in and says, "Thank GOD, WE WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!" This declaration of relief jerks me violently out of my deep sleep, but into consciousness so quickly I feel like I have a bit of comprehensional jet-lag. In other words, I have no idea what she's talking about, but I try to keep up as she keeps talking in [what sounds like] another language. Apparently, she and my father were worried because my bike never made it home the night before, so they assumed I hadn't either. This assumption began a search that got them so worked up that they forgot to even check my ROOM. My parents aren't the type to worry. Really. This also adds to my confusion, its way too out of character. Just as I think I've caught up with her schpeal, she tells me I should call Lisa. Lisa is my boss at the coffee shop, where I work. This simple fact really catches my attention. "WHY on EARTH did you call LISA of all people?!" Lisa is not a great "emergency person." I mean this to say that she can get panicked easily. What had happened was that my dad went down to the coffee shop to ask Lisa if I'd closed alone. Lisa says, no...she thought I was with Kadra. So Lisa calls my co-barista Kadra, who gives very little reassurance, and forgets to mention that she was the one who gave me the ride home so I didn't have to ride my bike! So, Lisa hangs up, and panics, because she thought Kadra would know where I was, when Kadra didn't know, she was at a loss. Lisa calls her husband Hank, and asks him what should be done, thinking that the next step would be to call the Police and file a Missing Person. (meanwhile, I'm still sleeping in my own warm bed.) Eventually, someone comes up with the idea to check my room...and that is where the story began. For a brief moment, I had quite a few people thinking I'd just been abducted by aliens.

The day simply got weirder. I went to work at around 10 at the Bookstore (I have two jobs and they are right next to each other..) When I got there, no one had opened up. I don't have a key to open the shop, but as far as I know, i'm still supposed to open it at 10, right? Now, typically a chef from the restaurant in the back is there prepping for the day, and they let me in. This is the standard. HOWEVER. not today. After waiting around for 15 minutes, I walk over to the coffee shop...have a few laughs with lisa about how crazy that morning was...get a muffin and some juice...call my boss to tell him i can't open his stinking bookstore without a key and then, when his line ends up being busy, I decide to walk back and keep waiting.
Meanwhile, I feel this slight itch at the bottom of my pants leg...i think its a leaf and keep on walking, but this leaf seems to DEFY GRAVITY and start moving up my pants! I put down my muffin and juice (I'm on MAIN STREET, let's remember)
and take a gander down the backside of my pants...Only to come face to face with a LIZARD!!! I FLIP OUT.
for about .4 seconds i look like brad pitt in 12 monkeys...you know....crazy flailing gestures? I manage to regain composure and walk BACK to the coffee shop in order to find a nice haven for stripping out of my pants as quickly as possible. Mind you, everyone at the coffee shop already knows its been a strange day. So when I walk in and say "Craziest thing just happened to me" and keep walking right on to the bathrooms...they don't know what to think until one of the customers says: "UM, ma'am...don't freak out, but...you've got a lizard on your back" and, of course, I proceed to FREAK OUT AGAIN.
only this time, there's "dancing in small circles" + the flailing.
fortunately, I am rescued.
the lizard went on to live happily ever after with lisa's son logan.
and I finally got ahold of my boss and opened the store.
an hour late.